Outside Reading: A Must Read for Parents

Hey - I finally figured out how to post here! (How many months has it been? Duh. I'm a Wordpress girl.)

Anyhoo, it's just in time to tell you about the BEST book. I'm currently reading Protecting the Gift by Gavin De Becker and it's so amazing I simply can't do it justice. It's about protecting ourselves and our children from violence ~ including sexual predators and also things like how to choose a babysitter. I think it should be handed out to all parents & prospective parents. It's just that good.

I am reading so many books at once right now for upcoming reviews at The Opinionated Parent that I've given up on the book for this month but hopefully I'll join in for some summer reading.

Have a great weekend!
Nicole
TOP/MMTaM

I think we are a bad book club.....

Okay, nobody take offense.... I mean this with the utmost love and affection.... but ummmmmm we suck at being a book club!

I'm wondering if we've been too ambitious... if we've raised the bar too high.... I mean, we are all Mommies, Daddies, Students, (insert label here) and have a lot stuff going on in our lives, so maybe a book a month is too much right now -- maybe we ought to be doing a book every month-and-a-half or every other month -- that way we actually read the books and actually have the discussions.

I guess my point is (get to the point already) that we have the potential to be the SUPERCOOLEST BOOK CLUB EVA -- but we aren't really living up to that potential. We were supposed to have read CTICP by yesterday and I know that I'm only at the half-way point..... I don't think I'm alone (am I????)

I'd like to propose a revised discussion date of May 11th -- that gives us another two weeks.... anyone want to second the motion? or tell me to stuff it?

Calamities All Around

I have not finished reading the book yet (this was my only goal for my vacation and I failed, ugh). I do have to say I am really enjoying the book so far though. Two things I would like to point out while reading:
1. Note every time you encounter reference that you know is a real reference but you don't know it and you think you should. Many of her literary references are real (maybe all) and some down right hilarious but some I just know I should know but I don't know (and then I have to Google it and then I feel like I smoked too much pot in college). I feel like she must have hung out in a library finding all these references.
2. I read this passage the other night after hanging out with my ultra-Christian friend (we went to see Pan's Labyrinth and then have a cup of tea). This paragrahp resonated with me and I am not sure why. Maybe because I used to move every year, maybe because of the scintillating conversation I had just had pertaining to religion. Here it is (page 35):
Every now and then, at night, before I fell asleep, I found myself staring at the ceiling, praying for something 'real' to happen, something that would trandform me- And God always took on the personality of the ceiling at which I was staring. If the ceiling was imprinted with moonlight and leaves from the window, He was glamorous and poetic. If there was a slight tilt, He was inclined to listen. If there was a faint water stain in the corner, He'd weathered many a storm and would weather mine too. If there was a smear cutting through the center by the overhead lamp where something with six or eight legs had been exterminated via newspaper or shoe, He was veangeful.

I hope everyone enjoys this book as much as I am.

Outside Reading -- Self Help

I don't want to steal anybody's thunder.... Kara (a.k.a. Cape Buffalo) reviewed this book not long ago here and Darren (a.k.a Clare's Dad) spoke to it here. Although I find myself agreeing with these guys the majority of the time...... I found this book to be a little bit fluffy and at points insulting to Dads.

Some background.... I didn't buy it, the Big Dubya got it in the mail for free. I was done reading Easter Rising and we hadn't established a book for April yet, so I figured I'd give it a whirl.

In fairness, the book did raise some good points -- the whole score keeping thing is very true. The Big Dubya and I don't argue too often, but when we do it is often because I pick at him for not doing enough around the house or with the kids.... he counters with my not giving him enough "credit" for the things he does do and and I come back with my feeling unappreciated by him for my contribution. I sense this is a universal theme and that we could all do better in this area.... but, it was helpful to see it written out.

I also though they made some good points about women tending to over-manage their husband's relationships with the children. I know that I tend to do this.... if the Big Dubya does take the initiative to feed the 'lil man, I won't just appreciate the gesture -- instead, I'll critique what it is he's choosing to feed him (c'mon -- couldn't you give the kid some fruit?). This is not productive, as it discourages the Big Dubya from taking initiative in the future. I need to embrace the concept that it doesn't have to be MY way in order for it to be acceptable.

When the authors get into issues of intimacy (that's polite-speak for sex), I got a bit annoyed. Any couple that says the intimacy in their relationship didn't take a beating after the birth of their child(ren) is lying. I'm sure some relationships suffer more in this area than others, but.... they all take a hit. That being said, they kind of imply that offering up sex will get chores done around the house. Although it may be true, the last time I checked, people who trade sex for money (or services) got arrested. Is that what marital relationships have deteriorated to? What happened to romance?

They also discuss the "Training Weekend" -- many Dad's are involved enough in the raising of their kids that they don't need to be abandoned for 24 hours to appreciate their wives -- it's a little insulting to suggest otherwise.

Yes, the Big Dubya does recognize how much I do when I go out for a few hours and he's got to juggle the kids on his own. But similarly, I recognize how much he does when he has to work on a Saturday or travel overnight and I'm left on my own.

Was it an okay free book to read? yes -- would I suggest people go pay for it? no

Oh, heck...I belong to a book club...

So Kara was reminding me the other day that I belong to a book club. I literally didn't read a book in month of March. I meant to. Really. Then I read that people who were raised on the south shore could really relate to Easter Rising. I grew up on the south shore, now I really feel like I lost out (Dubs and I have waxed poetic about the Weymouth landing and Sacred Heart - it was a strange 'we haven't actually met but we ran in parallel circles kind of thing.') .
Kara knows me well. She knows that if I am actually going to get involved I have to be responsible for the activity.
So here it goes: Special Topics in Calamity Physics is the book for April. Here is why it will be great: the author is from Asheville, NC...home of the Biltmore Estate and Thomas Wolfe (if you don't him you need to read Look Homeward, Angel). And my daughter, Noodle. The book is about physics and calamities. Calamities people! And it is a mystery! It is going to be great, or we will pan it for all its worth.
I will start discussion in about 14 days (maybe 21). My vacation starts tomorrow so I will read a boook this month (as the Count would say: one, ha ha ha).
Review of the book:
Salon
Paste

Just finished

Hi Everybody..... long time no post.

I just finished Easter Rising and can't wait 'til the discussion begins. This book hit a little close to home.... literally. The Big Dubya and I grew up just south of Boston ourselves and my parents are "right off the boat" from Ireland so, we are more than a little bit familiar with all the places and traditions mentioned in the book.

Anyway, thumbs up to whoever suggested it -- it was a really good read and I look forward to hearing what you all thought.

Maybe our next book could be a bit more upbeat though..... just a thought

March: A Month of Paddys (Paddies?)

As our first two reads/discussions come to a close (and keep tossing topics for discussion for either VS or Pi if you feel inspired!) it's time to gear up for March. I'd like to nominate Easter Rising: An Irish American Coming Up from Under by Michael Patrick MacDonald. I read All Souls, his first memoir, a few years back and quite enjoyed it, well, as much as one can enjoy a true story about organized crime, racism, rioting, poverty, and the horrendous deaths of four of his siblings. I watched The Departed this weekend and the experience bumped Easter Rising to the top of my book queue.

Discussion will follow Paddy's day by a bit... most likely the 29th of March.

Anyone else interested in joining me?

Outside Reading: Lamb

So I am about 1/4 of the way through Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore.

I have another online book club that I belong to and these other women (it's through a mother's group) raved about Moore. I'm not so sure.

I've already read "A Dirty Job", and while I appreciate blasphemous humor as much as the next atheist, I think the dialogue is a little bit too witty for my taste. I don't mean to say that I don't appreciate wit, I really do. It just seems like the dialogue is overwritten. You know, like the 5th season of "The West Wing".

I don't know if that even makes sense, but I just feel like he doesn't have to hold my hand and explain all of his jokes. I've read The Bible. I get the references.

I guess I just feel sort of guilty not enjoying it. I really like black humor and I feel like Chris Moore should be my kind of author. He is supposed to be hilarious. Maybe it's just with the whole "DaVinci Code" crowd, but still...

Should I just stop reading it now, or should I stick it out and see if it gets better? I so love the idea of a smart-ass disciple that they left out of The Bible because he was such a dick, but this just isn't doing it for me.

- Sarah

Life of Pi: The Better Story

Against all odds, I managed to start AND finish Life of Pi this weekend. My house is on the market and my mind is pre-occupied with things like SELL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THE CLOCK IS TICKING, but I found myself at the gym with no desire to have sweaty headphones upsetting the balance of ear cleanliness I've become accustomed to, on top of the irrational pressure I've placed on myself to participate in this (very patient and lenient) book club I've joined... and suddenly Life of Pi was my treadmill distraction.

I'll admit that I've never been a member of any book club, let alone an online one. I've held back for so long that I've seen enough other members admit to the same thing to put me at ease about this sad fact. Notice I'm still mentioning it, though... take this all with a grain of salt, I guess is my point. Also, I'm trying to say that I'm not exactly positive how to start a discussion on a book with as many layers as I detected in Life of Pi.

***WARNING: Possible Spoiler Ahead***

Luckily for me, there is a nifty Reading Group Guide in the version of the book I bought. It has a series of thought-provoking questions, all of which are equally as profound, I'm sure. I'm going to pick one that works for focusing on what to me is the crux of the book: #22, Which story do you believe, the one with animals or the one without animals? I'm not sure I can directly answer this question, but I will say this: I read the first two parts of the book without questioning any of the "facts." When I got to the third part and Pi was pressured to tell a different story, I was pretty unhappy. I clung to the animal story with all my might. I wanted it to be true, as harrowing as I'd thought it was originally. I might have actually felt angry at the investigators from the Japanese Ministry of Transport for pressuring Pi to come up with something different. Like Pi, I had become attached to Richard Parker, that wild, dangerous, dependent, unpredictable killer companion. When the animal characters were replaced with human ones, when Pi explained in human terms what he'd endured for months at sea, it felt remarkably more unbearable, and to my chagrin, remarkably more believable.

Throughout the re-telling of Pi's experience, he makes reference to imagination, belief, and the role of the story in one's life. He accepts what most people would classify as three conflicting religious belief systems when he simultaneously practices Hinduism, Christianity, and Islam. When confronted on this and told he must choose only one faith, his response is "I just want to love God." Pi simultaneously accepts the frameworks he's given, no matter how contradictory, no matter how unpalatable, and molds them to what he views as a universal expression of gratitude for life. He accepts atheism as a belief system, but rejects agnostic doubt as a potential life-long philosophy, claiming that doubt is not a habitable realm, but one that must be visited temporarily and later abandoned for more solid ground, "the better story."

Life is ultimately only relatable by the story-telling of our own experience. Pi's two stories begin and end identically; the differences between the tellings come down to character details, but those details profoundly alter the reader's view of the experience. The Japanese investigators ultimately have to choose which story they'll tell, and even after their significant and vocal doubt surrounding Pi's first telling, ultimately the one they pass on in official record is "the one with animals," which they deem in irony, emotional self-defense, or spiritual respect, the better story. This surprised me, until I realized, as I tried to describe the book to my husband, that I was telling Pi's first story as the story, the "real" one.

The Virgin Suicides

Let the discussion begin

First question -- thumbs up or thumbs down, and why?

Please feel free to contribute even if you haven't finished reading -- or if you aren't an official member of the club.